Welcome to

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The Writer's Room

Character Shoes






NEW 01

CD 01

The love child of a creative brief and a couple of cue cards to give you beat-by-beat creative direction. Includes: FUNdational brand strategy, concept, messaging, & more! $3500

VIP 02

An all NEW VIP day experience to help you come up with a memorable name (better than you envisioned!) for your new product or service offering. $1500

special segment!

VIP 02





The writer's room 

copy 03

Cpy 03

A brand personality + voice guide so writer's can write miles in your voice! It's an exact analysis of the words you use and how you use them. Starting at: $2500

copy 04

These words right here. So meta. Custom website copy packages start at $4000 for 4 pages. Sales pages sold separately. 

Cpy 05

Sales Page

copy 05

Speak of the devil! Our sales page philosophy? It only needs to be as long as it needs to be. No one should go gray reading it. Starting at: $3500

Cpy 04

Cpy 06

packaging copy

copy 06

Did someone say easy, FUN, screenshot-able UGC? Because that's really what product copy is about. Right? Pricing dependent on project sale.

Podcast marketing 

copy 07

"You're listening to [show]" is totally unoriginal & lame. What if you said "MOIST! Got your attention..." You're welcome. Podcast packages starting at: $850

Speaker sheet

copy 08

A media kit masterpiece. Includes fresh bio(s), topic ideation + topic naming, and pitch email templates so you can really hit the pavement like the "girl boss" you are. $2500 

Cpy 07

Cpy 08

Website copy

special segment!



CampaignS & retainers

cmpgn 09

CAM 09

sales funnels

cmpgn 10

We put the fun in funnels. Nuff said. Actually -- we'd like to add that our clients get STUPID high open/click rates. Nuff said 2.0. Starting at: $3200

CAM 11

The showrunner

rtnr 11

Have you ever thought, "Man! I wish I could keep Katie in my back pocket?" Well now you can! This is a 1:1 Voxer consulting retainer. Starting at: $350/month. Call or Apply for details.

CAM 10

reg. scheduled programming

rtnr 12

Oh yeah baby, we offer content and copy retainers. Blogs. Newsletters. Ya know, the goods. Starting at: $1750/month

CAM 12


That's fancy business talk for screaming "PAY ATTENTION TO ME" at everyone you think should want or know about your offer. Pricing dependent on campaign scale.



Creative services

foto 13

pho 13

It's 2023, we all judge books by their covers. This isn't your average Pinterest shoot. You'll get a shot list so annoyingly detailed your photographer will be insulted. Starting at: $4000

Brand identity


Again, it's 2023, we all judge books by their covers. Includes: Logo, typography selection, colors, & brand style guide. Starting at: $4000 - add-ons available.

des 15

Web design

web 15

It bears repeating, it's 2023, we all judge books by their covers. Includes 5 page site on Squarespace, Showit, or Wix. Starting at: $4500

web 14

MUS 16

The only thing on this list that can't be poorly ripped off. Unless you find a gaggle of talented musicians willing to try. And they're all busy. We checked. Starting at: $500

mus 16

Photoshoot planning

theme music 



you're still scrolling?

lol 17

lol 17

You think I'm kidding, but I, Katie Pannell, am not. This is my passion. Let me write sarcastic, ridiculous ads for your sh*t please. Please. 

tlk 18

Again, you think we're kidding, but we're not. No one wants to listen to a boring speech of any kind. We can help.

exc 19

exc 19

This page just needed to be a little longer. But we're up for the challenge if you need either of these things.

tlk 18

Thank you notes 

tyn 20

Your grandma will thank us personally. 

tyn 20

fb marketplace descriptions

Excuses & shakespearan insults

Talks & toasts

talks & toasts